Lately I've been feeling somewhat sorry for myself and my incapability to have what I desire the most right now, another baby.
It's hard for me (sometimes) to accept the position that I'm in (having a five year old, wanting more children and not being able to have more right now). I get frustrated! Very very frustrated! I want to see a fertility doctor and I want to adopt-but I DON'T feel right about pursuing either of them right now, and THAT is what is so frustrating for me.
From the time I was a little girl, I ALWAYS wanted to have A LOT of children. In fact when someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same, "a mother".
Lucky for me-I am a Mother!!! Even if I am only the Mother to one, I'm still a Mother. I've been blessed with the most adorable 5 year old on the planet, and I thank Heavenly Father every day for this great blessing that He's given to me.
It's humbling to accept that God's plan for me may not be my plan for me, but that His plan is better! And for that I'm very thankful.
It's hard for me (sometimes) to accept the position that I'm in (having a five year old, wanting more children and not being able to have more right now). I get frustrated! Very very frustrated! I want to see a fertility doctor and I want to adopt-but I DON'T feel right about pursuing either of them right now, and THAT is what is so frustrating for me.
From the time I was a little girl, I ALWAYS wanted to have A LOT of children. In fact when someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same, "a mother".
Lucky for me-I am a Mother!!! Even if I am only the Mother to one, I'm still a Mother. I've been blessed with the most adorable 5 year old on the planet, and I thank Heavenly Father every day for this great blessing that He's given to me.
It's humbling to accept that God's plan for me may not be my plan for me, but that His plan is better! And for that I'm very thankful.
You are amazing Maria! It has to be so hard for you! You are such a great example of patience to so many!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you remember me, but Lucia told me to check your blog a quite a while ago when you were talking about your infertility and I just came across this latest post.
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that I am so so sorry for what you are going through. You are a great example to me. You are always so positive!!
As weird as it may be, you have been in my prayers numerous times and I will continue to pray for you!!
Even though times are difficult for you, you seem to have such a positive outlook on things! I find myself approaching a similar situation now myself. I don't know if I'll need IVF again, I don't know when I'll have another child. I expect to need IVF again, but we'll have to save up for it. I hope I can have just as positive outlook on things and be as grateful as you!
ReplyDeleteMaria, you are so positive and brave to be honest about your feelings in writing. I admire you. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving this week. Give your little family a hug from ours.
ReplyDeleteWe know how you feel. We went 9+ years without any children. We decided if we were going to have any children during that time, it would be the "natural" way. We did not have any promptings to move forward and be proactive in regards to fertility help or adoption until... (well, you know the story!). We have often remembered the hymn "count your blessings one by one" during our many trials and you have shown great strength and faith. Also, you are so wonderful with children that Faith and I have put you on our elite babysitter list alongside Autumn's grandmas!
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